This is me. I have many insecurities, doubts, scars from past loves, but a burning desire to love more, to smile more, to help. I have a burning desire to do the Lords will and not my will. With all my heartache and pain I came to the Lord and he received me with open arms.I felt him saying “child I have been waiting for you”.
Life continues there is new pain, a different kind of pain but, now that I know the Lord I feel less pain, I feel as if he eases my pain. I have hope in God that he will give me strength to overcome all the obstacles.
Today I am unsure of what God wants me to do with a certain situation. I have been in a similar situation before (where I had had enough with my dad and moved out but, then it turned out that I had to come back home because the place where I was renting was (unknown to my knowledge) in foreclosure. Anyway, now I want to move out again and once again I am in limbo. If, I leave I will leave my parents alone (of course I will visit and help as much as I can) but, I cannot help a person who does not want to help himself and as much as I feel bad for his addiction and what he has gone through all his life I cannot live with him anymore. I am frustrated and I want to leave. As of right now I cannot support them and myself. In the future I will help them more but as of now, If I give him money he will only waste it on one thing. God help me…
This week I will be looking for a place. I will not tolerate him any longer.
I will pray and search deeper if there are any other solutions but I have tried many things and so far he has ran from everything.